How to deal with divorce
Divorce solicitors know that everyone deals with divorce differently and that there isn’t a prescribed ‘right way’ to handle your divorce. There are however some things that it can be helpful to think about to make the divorce process just a bit easier to cope with. In this article we answer your questions on how to deal with divorce.
Online divorce and financial settlement solicitors
London based online family law solicitors at OTS Solicitors can advise on how on your divorce, child care and custody arrangements and your best financial settlement options. For divorce, financial settlement or family law advice call us on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form to arrange a Skype, video conference or telephone appointment.
Dealing with divorce
There are many things that you can do to help you get through the early stages of a divorce. Not all of them will be suitable or applicable to you but here are some pointers:
- If the separation is your idea, take time to think about whether it is the best option for you. Talking to an individual counsellor or neutral friends or family may help. In addition, getting early legal advice so you understand any financial or immigration issues can also be helpful. Any initial discussions with either a divorce solicitor or individual counsellor will remain confidential to you, if you later decide to remain with your husband or wife
- Consider whether the marriage is over or if you both need ‘time out’. Sometimes couple counselling can help you resolve differences so you can stay together. If you can't , then at least couple counselling may help you think that you tried everything to make it work
- When some people decide to separate they resolve to keep the news to themselves and don’t tell friends, family, neighbours or work colleagues. Wanting to keep things private is totally understandable but it is best to tell a few close people so you don’t internalise all your feelings. In addition, if you tell your employer they may fully understand your temporary position and not just view you as moody or aloof as they don’t know what is going on
- Don’t make instant decisions about anything. For example, you may want ‘full custody’ but on reflection it may help you if the children want to spend some time with their other parent
- Don’t do things that you will regret. We are all tempted at some point in our lives but actions have consequences. It therefore is best, for example, not to set fire to your husband's car, trail your wife and her new partner, or turn up at your husband's office. After all, your husband needs his car to get to work and a job to pay child support and spousal maintenance
- Don’t suffer in silence due to embarrassment. If you are the victim of domestic violence then let your solicitor know. Domestic violence can take many forms, including financial control and coercion and psychological abuse. A domestic violence solicitor may be able to secure an injunction order or an order making your husband or wife leave the family home so that you can stay there until a decision is reached over what should happen to the house
- Take early legal advice from a specialist divorce solicitor who you feel you can trust. The solicitor can put your mind at ease and guide you through the divorce process
- To keep your legal costs down try to be organised with your solicitor and work in partnership. For example, there may be things that you can do , such as provide a copy of your marriage certificate, company accounts or your bank statements
- Don’t throw your old paperwork away as you may need if you need to prove that your parents gave you the money for a deposit on your first house or you will need to show your divorce solicitor your prenuptial agreement
- Expect to feel down about your divorce and find coping strategies, such as going to the gym or for a walk. Something as simple as that can help clear your head and give you the energy to go on
- Try not to treat your children as your confidantes as whilst they may be willing to listen it isn’t the best thing for them in the long run, especially if the other parent is using them as a sounding board as well
- Try to resolve things as amicably as you can. For example, the basis for the divorce proceedings, the child care arrangements, and the financial settlement. A family mediator or a solicitor negotiator can help you with that. The more you save on professional fees then it should mean that you have more to spend in retirement or on your new house
- Although it is hard, try not to take out your anger on your spouse on his or her parents or other family members. That’s because your children may want to maintain relationships with grandparents or cousins.
Not all these points will be relevant to you but they are all worth bearing in mind to try and help you deal with your divorce and any financial settlement or child arrangements order and to achieve a resolution as quickly as possible.
Online divorce and financial settlement solicitors
The specialist family lawyers at OTS Solicitors work remotely using the latest secure technology to start divorce proceedings , child court proceedings or to secure financial settlements by negotiation, financial court proceedings, mediation or arbitration. If you need advice about your separation and starting divorce proceedings or help with any other aspect of family law call London based OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form. We will set up a video conference, Skype or telephone appointment for you with one of our friendly and experienced family law solicitors.