How will my Child’s Neurodiversity Affect Parenting After Separation?
With one in seven people in the UK being neurodiverse, neurodiversity is something that affects many families trying to reach a parenting agreement after a separation or when applying to the family court for a child arrangement order.
In this series of articles, our Family Law Solicitors answer your questions about neurodiversity and family law. In this blog, we look at how neurodiversity can affect parenting after separation or the outcome of a child arrangement order application.
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For family law legal advice call the expert London family lawyers at OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form.
Our lawyers speak Arabic, Armenian, Farsi, French/Mauritian Creole, Spanish, Tamil Tagalog/Ilonggo, Urdu/Punjabi
Is your child neurodiverse?
Some parents do not accept that their child is neurodiverse. This can be a real problem in a parental relationship where one parent thinks the child will ‘grow out’ of their behaviour and the other parent has struggled to get their child formally diagnosed to get the help their child needs. In other families, there may be no formal diagnosis because of NHS waiting lists or because one parent does not want their child labelled or their condition medicalised.
If your child is neurodiverse, or if the other parent believes your child is neurodiverse, it’s important to let your Family Law Solicitors know as that information helps them negotiate parenting arrangements for you and helps them argue your case if you apply for or respond to an application for a child arrangement order.
Some parents assume that neurodiversity is only relevant where a child has severe autism to the extent that their child is nonverbal and has a statement of special educational needs. That isn’t correct. Any neurodiverse condition is relevant including ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia or dyscalculia. There are many other conditions but any type of neurodiversity is relevant.
Why is neurodiversity relevant when reaching a parenting agreement?
Some neurodiverse children are not more affected by parental separation than their other siblings. Other neurodiverse children don’t cope well with change.
Here are some examples of how neurodiversity can impact a post-separation parenting arrangement or a child arrangement order:
- The child struggles with routine and would find it very hard to have more than one bedroom or would not easily adapt to any change in routine
- The child needs extra support with homework or with school attendance
- The child’s behaviour has been adversely affected by the separation and they are acting out
- One parent does not accept the child’s neurodiverse diagnosis and won't follow the recommended parenting strategies or medication
- The child is struggling with a new family dynamic, such as step-siblings or the children of a parent’s new partner
There are many ways a child’s neurodiversity can significantly impact parenting arrangements. Your Family Law Solicitor needs to understand how your child’s neurodiversity affects your family life so they can negotiate with the other parent to reach an agreement on residence and contact arrangements that cater to your child’s needs.
How is a child’s neurodiversity considered in children law court proceedings?
You may need to apply for or respond to an application for a child arrangement order to sort out where your child should live and the contact arrangements. Alternatively, parents of neurodiverse children can fall out over how best to parent their child and may need to apply to the court for a specific issue order for the judge to decide on the parenting issue that is in dispute.
The court’s paramount consideration when making any decision relating to the care of your child is your child’s ‘best interests.’
This test and a ‘welfare checklist’ are enshrined in law; The Children Act 1989.
The welfare checklist includes:
- Your child’s wishes and feelings
- Your child’s emotional, physical and educational needs
- The impact of change on your child
- The ability of each parent to meet your child’s needs
- Any harm your child is at risk of – this includes emotional or psychological harm
The wishes and feelings of a neurodiverse child
Some neurodiverse children are non-verbal whilst others find it exceptionally hard to articulate how they feel or what they want. The court can ask a CAFCASS officer to report on your child’s wishes by the court ordering a Section 7 report. The CAFCASS officers are skilled in talking to children but they may also recommend a report from a child psychologist to help the court understand the impact of your child’s neurodiversity on their wishes and needs.
Your child’s wishes will be ascertained in light of their age and understanding but won't be the only factor that the court considers. For example, whilst a child may hate change in routine, maintaining a relationship with both parents is normally best for a child’s long-term emotional well-being.
The physical, emotional and educational needs of a neurodiverse child
The court will assess your child’s needs and make a children law order that aims to meet your child’s needs. This can be particularly complex where a child is neurodiverse. For example, in most cases, there may no reason why shared parenting would not work but your neurodiverse child may not be able to cope with a change in households. Alternatively, the location of a special needs school or the taxi transport to school may make midweek overnight contact impossible despite the absent parent being more than capable of providing shared care.
The family unit and siblings
Many family units include children who are neurodiverse and children who are not. Some parents want all their children to have the same contact arrangements so no child is singled out for their neurodiversity whilst other parents want their neurodiverse child to have separate contact arrangements to their other siblings. There is no right answer to this conundrum but Family Law Solicitors understand that neurodiverse children come as part of a family unit and sibling group and that both parent's and all the siblings' views need to be considered when reaching an agreement on parenting arrangements or in children law court proceedings.
How can the Family Law Solicitors at OTS Solicitors help you?
At OTS Solicitors we believe it is important to listen to our clients to get an understanding of their family dynamics before we advise you on your children law rights and potential parenting arrangements. Our legal advice is bespoke to your family.
The family law team is approachable and friendly. We are committed to trying to help you reach a parenting agreement without having to go to court. Why? The court can be expensive and time-consuming and life is normally hard enough if you are the parents of a neurodiverse child. That’s why we focus all our efforts on helping you reach an agreement that works for your family and that can be adapted and changed as your child’s needs change.
Online and London Family Law Solicitors
For family law legal advice call the expert London family lawyers at OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form.
Our lawyers speak Arabic, Armenian, Farsi, French/Mauritian Creole, Spanish, Tamil Tagalog/Ilonggo, Urdu/Punjabi
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