London Family Law Solicitors Answer Your Questions on Birdnesting Divorce
When you separate or divorce with children there are often feelings of guilt, even if you did not want the marriage to end and could not stop your ex-partner from walking out on you. Those feelings and the cost of family housing in the UK make parents ask Family Law Solicitors about birdnesting after a separation or divorce.
In this blog, our Divorce Solicitors in London answer your questions about birdnesting.
Online and London Family Law Solicitors
For divorce and family law legal advice call the expert London family lawyers at OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form.
Our lawyers speak Arabic, Armenian, Farsi, French/Mauritian Creole, Spanish, Tamil Tagalog/Ilonggo, Urdu/Punjabi.
What is a birdnesting divorce?
Birdnesting is an agreement to allow the children to live at the family home after a separation or divorce. You may think that many financial court orders allow one parent to stay at the family home by transferring the house to either the husband or wife. Birdnesting is different.
It is an innovative way of providing the children with stability and security. It also allows both parents to co-parent their children. It can be a short-term arrangement to help the children acclimatise to parental separation or a long-term solution in situations where separated parents either can't afford two family-size homes or their priority is to provide the children with one home base.
Birdnesting means the children live at the family home and the parents move into the property when they are the primary carer. That may involve a weekly turnover or other arrangement the parents agree to through solicitor negotiations or in family mediation. The co-parenting does not have to be 50/50 for a birdnesting arrangement to work. However, both parents' work and other commitments need to be close enough to the family home or flexible enough to enable birdnesting to be practicable.
The benefits of birdnesting
Some of the benefits of rotating the family home or birdnesting are:
- The children stay at the family home and don’t have to move between two homes
- The children remain close to their friends and activities
- Children won't refuse contact with one parent because they don’t want a longer commute to school or to miss out on sports clubs or other activities
- The children don’t need to pack up clothes and belongings on parental handovers – the parents are the ones who need to move their essential belongings into the family home at parenting handovers
- Parents avoid buying or renting two small properties that don’t fully meet the children’s needs in terms of size or location
The drawbacks of birdnesting
Parents should carefully consider whether birdnesting will work for them. Some issues include:
- You will still need to buy or rent at least one other property to cater for when one parent is off-duty and not looking after the children. The other property/properties may be less comfortable than would have been the case if the family home had been sold and you and your ex-partner had both bought two new homes
- Birdnesting only works if you have the same standards, such as on cleaning or parenting routines
- What happens if one of you meets a new partner – they are not likely to want to bird nest with you and your ex-partner may object to them staying in the family home with the children
- What happens if a new partner has children of their own or if you have more children
- You need a great deal of trust with your ex-partner – you need to be comfortable with the idea that they could snoop into your belongings and any paperwork left at the family home
- What happens if your ex-partner wants to stop birdnesting and you don’t want to do so
- The children may decide that they don’t like birdnesting as they don’t feel settled – where would that leave you if you are the parent who would no longer be living in the family home
- Long-term birdnesting requires an agreement on matters such as property decoration, house maintenance, improvements and insurance
- Birdnesting can make you feel as if you are living your life in limbo
- If you continue to jointly own the family home and buy a second property to live in while you are not parenting the children then you only get one lot of principal private residence relief for capital gains tax
From your child’s perspective there may be some disadvantages to birdnesting:
- The child may think their parents are going to get back together
- Birdnesting may delay the sale of the family home and make it harder for the child to adjust to the eventual sale and the move to a new home
Advice on co-parenting after a separation or divorce
Whether you are interested in birdnesting or not it’s best to take specialist family law legal advice from London Family Law Solicitors on your co-parenting options.
You may be happy to agree to your ex-partner’s co-parenting plans but you may not have reality-checked how those plans will affect the divorce financial settlement or whether the plans will meet your needs or those of your children.
Although you may think that your ex’s proposals are OK you or they may not have thought through what the plans will mean in practical terms or you may have dismissed the possibility of things changing in the future, such as you meeting a new partner. However, it may be your ex who meets someone else and who says that the birdnesting or other co-parenting arrangement no longer works.
After taking expert legal advice from a Family Lawyer in London you may conclude that birdnesting is still best for your children but take the view that it is only likely to be a temporary or medium-term solution. Your insight into how things might develop after reality-checking your ex’s proposals should allow you to put financial safeguards in place to protect you. Hence, your Divorce Solicitor can negotiate a financial settlement that protects your interests and meets the children's needs should you decide in the future to stop birdnesting, sell the family home and move to a different type of co-parenting arrangement.
All our Family Law Solicitors are focused on helping you reach a co-parenting arrangement that suits your family without having to go to court to secure a child arrangement order. A co-parenting arrangement and parenting plan needs to ensure that your short, medium and long-term needs are catered for as well as your children’s needs. Taking advice on co-parenting options after divorce or separation helps ensure that the arrangements will have longevity and will continue to work for everyone in the family.
Online and London Family Law Solicitors
For divorce and family law legal advice call the expert London family lawyers at OTS Solicitors on 0203 959 9123 or complete our online enquiry form.
Our lawyers speak Arabic, Armenian, Farsi, French/Mauritian Creole, Spanish, Tamil Tagalog/Ilonggo, Urdu/Punjabi.
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